Friday, October 10, 2008
It's 7 PM now and I just reached home.
Dragged my exhausted self into the house, and then I heard the sound of my speaker playing an unfamiliar melody. Dumbfounded, I was about to blame
myself for not remembering to switch off the computer before I left the house. But to my surprise, I noticed this strange red cloth thing being laid out on the carpet floor. There were so many things on it, like a heap of mess. So I turned on the lights, and what unfolded before my very own eyes caused me to stand there in pure astonishment and confusion.
OMG.
A MILLION WORDS JUST CAN'T DESCRIBE MY EXACT EMOTIONS AT THAT POINT OF TIME OKAY.
It was not just a red cloth filled with many printed photographs on them,
it was not just songs being played in random mode,
it was not just ordinary decorations you put up whenever yo
u want to beautify your house;
but what I saw was:
A symbol of friendship; more like the strong unbreakable bond between us.
They were all those photographs taken at random times during days spent in the United States.
Even though most of them are really lame and meaningless random photos,
somehow they portrayed what happiness meant.
Our definition of fun.
Smiles, wacky faces, memorable outings, narcissistic times, mini celebrations, laughters, crazy moments, carefree days etc..
Lunch together after school, weekend gatherings, friday or saturday night at hamptons, surprising people on their birthdays, bbq, msn combined chats..
Christmas eve at Santa Cruz, getting lost at Stanford church, Verde, New year's eve together, skipping classes, long night conference calls, cheap yoshinoya meals..
And who would ever imagine that things will turn out this way?
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
But anyhow,
I'm so glad to have found close friends like Kum and Remon. (FAMILY
, as he claimed it to be). Haha, shyaaat, I can't believe such a random act like that printing out photos etc would bring about endless thoughts to my mind. It's already the the third week of school- No. It's going to be Week 4 already. Crap, time is flying by so quickly and it's like I'm not given enough time to breathe.
I feel so satisfied with the way things are. But I know it's going to come to an end soon.
Why why whyyyyyyyyy
Soon everyone will transfer out of this place, and it's going to be my turn then.
Honestly I'd never thought that leaving would be kinda hard.
Especially when I have to witness them walk away first.
Who would be willing to listen to my endless rants and complaints in the middle of the night,
When will I be able to eat the home cooked fried chicken and beef sushi filled with small pieces of cucumber anymore,
Where would I go,
if kum decides to leave after this quarter.
When will I be able to laugh at a certain someone jumping over the patio fence, wearing plain old yellow tee shirt, checkered boxers, with 2 cm fringe combed over to the forehead and wearing old fashioned silver spectacles again,
when will be the next time that we'd eat banana soaked with oil and fried fishballs in the middle of the night while rushing homework,
if remon moves out of glenbrook.
I guess I can't deny the fact that sometimes I take things for granted too.
Even though I know we gotta treasure everything that is happening, but it is human nature to not be aware and appreciate what we have around us.
But seriously,
I will be lost if they are not around.
Can we push back the rewind button, or pause at our favorite moments instead?
Make it last,
I want to make it last.
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there
Can we make it somehow.
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men.
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
As cliche as it may sound, those lyrics fit in my sentiments exactly.
As much as I want to walk away, I can't be certain that I won't miss you.
Even if I might seem ignorant about your well-being,
actually sometimes I still care.
I want to stop hurting people whom I care about.
I am tired from running away, hiding from the true inner voice trapped within.
When I give in too much, it is awful to have to face endless disappointments.
When I get too close, fear takes control.
And so, goodbye for now.
Photos will be uploaded next time, I'm too lazy to transfer them now. Ah.
Before I leave,
THANK YOU MONNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You don't know how you left me speechless with what you did. (minus the unglam photo of me that you hung on the wall wth). HAHA
I want time to come to a standstill.
9:58 AM Tjung!
